Dating- What To Expect!
Dating- What To Expect!
By Beth Nielsen
My job as a matchmaker is to introduce men and women who are looking for a serious committed relationship. About 80% of the clients we work with are looking for marriage. Unlike on-line dating, it is very personal and the first time a couple meet is always a little stressful for both parties.
We coach our clients on what to do or not do on a date. We don't show them a book with pictures and have them decide who they are going out with. We are the professionals. We choose their date and then set it up so that they meet at a restaurant for that first meeting, usually at 8:00 P.M., thus "Dinner At 8".
We do that for a very specific reason. That first meeting is to get to know someone. It is important that they sit down and share a meal together. Meeting for coffee or a drink just isn't enough time to decide if they will continue seeing each other.
At the end of the meal if they are interested in seeing each other again then they will be able to make another date and exchange phone numbers. If either party is NOT interested in pursuing a relationship then we expect them to thank the other for a wonderful evening but also explain that they do not think they want to take anything further. . . no further conversation is necessary.
Before that first date we do a lot of coaching. We tell them not to talk about past relationships, how difficult it has been to find someone or even how bad their day has been. That first date should be a positive experience for both. We can always guarantee that the person they are meeting will have the physical characteristics someone is looking for. We can also make sure that the interests are the same. We know that the first date is a little nerve racking but at least we've done our work and we know they will have a good time. The only thing we cannot guarantee is physical chemistry. That is between two people and if it works GREAT!
Our goal is not to introduce our clients to 20 or more people. We usually set up a first date, maybe a second or third but usually by then they have found the person that they want to spend all of their time with. Wether it is just serious and monogamous dating or marriage, we don't work with serial daters so everyone is looking for a partner.
It's important on that first date to really get to know the other person. It's important to ask questions but also listen to what someone is saying with interest. Remember, you are both a little nervous. Being interested in the other person and being interesting yourself is a priority. You have to get to know each other a little before deciding if you want to take it further. If you think there is a chance that this might be someone you would like to continue seeing we encourage a second date. If you know there is no possibility of a relationship it's important to end it.
The great thing about using a matchmaker is that we get feedback from both the man and woman after that first date. We are able to share that information with both parties and if there is anything that needs to be shared we can do it for you. What a great concept to get honest feedback from the person you just spent an entire evening getting to know.
Dating is a little difficult in the beginning but we know our clients are going to find that person they are looking to find. It gets easier and as you do get to know someone it makes life so much more enjoyable. Here's to love, life and making memories!
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